LightSings

Things change in the course of a year. Sometimes cannot wrap my mind around the changes. What I have learned about myself is that I'm a good person. I care about people. However, I'm also very vulnerable and able to break. Without proper nourishment, I wither. Relationships are not toys, are not things to neglect. Some relationships were not meant to be with you throughout your lifetime, some are. Some lift a person up, some drag a person down.

I want to be in relationship with people that lift me up. Being down, dragged down, kept down, unstimulated, unrequited, unable to breathe is not good for me.

My writings have deep emotional thoughts, and not only do I feel deeply (which some view as a liability), but I analyze and have abilities to see things others cannot see, such as the intricacies of speech, and how people manipulate. Unfortunately, if I am deeply, emotionally moved by something, I may not use the important tool of critical thinking that can help protect my vulnerability. Thus, my battle within: Do I trust and express tenderness, or do I observe, with a skeptic eye and protect myself?

The balance, it seems, will lead to emotionally intelligent decisions for me in the future. In the meantime, my heart, my soul must heal.

There will only be peace, a real "namaste" when you are not at odds within yourself or others, but have accepted that you need to be honest with others and yourself. One still, quiet voice has reminded me that I am not alone on this journey.

In the meantime.... my heart....my soul....must heal. 

This time of quiet, of quiescence (a term that has saddened me in the past), has drawn me into myself. Inner thoughts must express in creativity, in art. This is one of my latest creations. Snowy Moonlight Mountains.

Why do The Eagles
have to play?
March will come
Time will slip away
And memories will stay

This walk has been difficult
the path twisting, rocky
Fumbling, without
a strong Hand to help
me find my way

Aching to know
why, I hold on to
memories of those
times when I felt
the sun's warm ray
of hope

But I can only
move forward
knowing I poured out
my heart, joy overflowing
enough to share
even if You couldn't feel it

Somehow this pain
will subside, they say
But I will never forget
any of the beauty
the joy
the sun
the discovery
and You

Empty spaces
without You
Hollow voices
aren't You
Searching places
to find You

Why make me think?
i'm willing
Why the lovely speak?
i thirstily drink
Why leave?
i would give You
what You seek

You had me
with Eyes
that saw my frailty
and could hold me
in captivity

All i have now
is one Word
to halt torment
though You are not
even here
to listen to me
utter, with pain

To let me go
to help me heal
i need to cry it,
whisper it
in my troubled dreams

The Word You gave me....